Welcome aboard Kerry Stutzman!

Hello! I am excited about taking over Head and Heart Parent.  I will continue in Shelly’s footsteps of offering parenting stories, ideas, Love and Logic classes and parent coaching.  I also offer counseling for individuals, couples and families online as well as in my office here in Denver, Colorado. My goal is to help people [...]

Changes at Head and Heart Parent

Dear Parents, The new year has brought me a new opportunity. After 8 years of teaching and coaching so many wonderful, dedicated parents, it’s time for me to take the next step in my career and apply my skills to helping small business owners in a corporate setting. The laughter, tears, struggles, and successes that [...]

Words Matter

“Words Matter!” “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” I love a great movie, don’t you? My favorite this year is The Help. The story takes place in the segregated south and the message shares universal lessons in humanity. The book portrays the life of a group of under-paid, often under-appreciated black women [...]

Ideas for Charging Parent’s Energy

    Question: I need some ideas on what to have my five year old son do to “recharge my energy”  — Noelle   Answer: Energy Charging Chores: water plants, windex windows,  pick up sticks, Energy Charging Rest and Relaxation: foot/back rubs, no TV night so mom can rest in quiet, pay for sitter with toys [...]

Help! My Child Bangs His Head When Disciplined?

Question: I would appreciate any input regarding a 21 month old boy who bangs his own head often when frustrated or being disciplined. I use “Uh-oh” but picking him up is the usual end of it. (If I don’t pick him up he does more and more.) I feel he is getting his way because [...]

Batman versus Spiderman

This is too funny not to share.  I have been using “I love you too much to argue with you” with my almost 4 year old son.  Last night I was doing dishes and listening to my son have an epic battle between Batman and Spiderman.  There were lots of sound effects and crashes and [...]

Teaching Children To Be More Humble

Question: Any thoughts on teaching children to be a little more humble? – Amy    Answer: Try using the Love and Logic skill called Eaves Drop Value Setting.  Set up a conversation between you and your spouse or a friend and have your kids within earshot.  Discuss a time  when you weren’t humble. What happened and [...]

Consequence: Give Kids a Chance to Problem Solve

Sometimes the best consequence for a problem is just to “hand it back” to them.  Read how well this mom used the skill with her daughter. The girls and I had gotten out our seasonal clothes in preparation of going to a Fall Festival.  A bit later, my 7 year old came to me and said [...]

I Should Have Eaten My Dinner

Another success story shared about how kids learn best from Empathy and Experience. My 3 year old daughter is a fussy eater.  We told her, ” You need to take 3 more bites.” She said “No” and tried to manipulate us into feeding her, changing our minds, changing food… We decided to use our new Love and [...]

Do We Let Our Kids Quit?

My son has played baseball every summer with the same Parks & Rec Team for 8 years.  This year, not enough kids signed up to make at team so I had to move him to a different Parks & Rec team.  He got a friend to join with him since they would be the outsiders joining the team. [...]

Help! My 9 yr old Quits Every Sport

  Question:  I have a nine year old who wants to quit every sport we try.  In 5 years we have tried 6 sports.  When they get hard or he isn’t great at it, he wants to quit.  He is now trying gymnastics, with the potential to be very good at it.  He is ready [...]

You WILL Do What I Say

Every mother has said these words or thought these words. “You WILL do what I say!” You ask your daughter to study for a test or clean her room. You think it is a simple request. It should take 30 minutes at the most. She sees it as an invitation to fight. Your daughter may [...]

My Child Doesn’t Care About the Consequence

Question: Is it better to have the same consequence for a certain bad choice, or to switch things up?  I always hear “consistency, consistency, consistency”.  For example, if my 5 year old does not help during “tidy time” before bed, he gets no books read to him.  There are some nights where he doesn’t care [...]

Shopping Tantrums – “I Want That Toy”

This was posted as a comment to my “I want the big cookie” success story, but I had to highlight this success story as it again shows me how amazing our kids are in their respond when we can CALMLY hold a limit FIRM. I had a very similar experience at Kohls not too long [...]

I Want the Big Cookie

How do you hold the limit firm and stay calm, especially when the child throws a tantrum in protest?  Read the skills this mom used and the happy ending…… When I grocery shop with my 4 year old daughter, I let her pick a small cookie from the top 2 rows of the shelf. This [...]

How Do You Punish One Kid Without Punishing the Whole Group?

Question: Hi! I need some ideas of how to deal with one kid misbehaving and another kid following the rules. For example, I have no problem walking out of a movie or leaving a party because of a misbehaving kid. But often times, my son (age 6 almost 7) will be just awful and my [...]

What’s a Consequence for Hitting?

Question: Wondering if anyone has any ideas for natural consequences for hitting? My 4 year old boy’s most common offense is hitting his twin sister. He kind of enjoys time out in his room, and if I’m doing something like making dinner, it’s hard to fully separate them. Any thoughts would be appreciated.   Answer: [...]

When Tempers Flare

We all encounter those occasional difficult moments with others, which, if not handled properly, can escalate into an uncomfortable and unproductive confrontation.  But thankfully, there are strategies for peacefully calming the confrontation, and effectively working toward a resolution. 8 Helpful Tips When your partner seems angry or irrational, remember they are the wonderful person you [...]

What Sudoku Can Teach Us About Solving Problems

I love doing Sudoku puzzles—the ones where you need to put numbers in those little squares to get a result? You can find them at your local bookstore, in the newspaper, and now on your iPhone. I do them on my iPad and in my newspaper. I’ve purchased those big books too. In fact, I [...]

It Worked Like a Charm

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I have  been reading and re-reading the information you’ve sent me and last night I had  an opportunity to use it.  It worked like a charm!! My teenage niece was  arguing with me.   There was no end in sight. Then I said: “Love you too much to argue.” [...]

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